We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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