Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
