Please, let me fuck your mom
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
