Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
