Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
