sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
