She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
