im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
