It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
