You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
