I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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