For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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