im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
