just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Alive.
So much puke
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
