so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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