I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
