All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
