oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
