none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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