Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
