i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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