Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
