I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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