we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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