I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Randomize
