I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
