so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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