It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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