I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We're too hungover to prance.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
