I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
