he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
