i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
