But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
