You were right. It hurts to walk today.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
