i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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