Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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