What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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