I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
