okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
