I feel great
I just peed on a car
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
