I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize