I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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