Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
