It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
