so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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