tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
