how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize