I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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