I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
