Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
