I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize