She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So vagazzling was a success
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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