Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
