So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize