I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
