I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
