She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize